I help perfectionists bloom beyond perfectionism and break free from destructive habits through the 12-week Bloom Beyond Perfectionism 1-on-1 Coaching Program.
The bravest thing you can do as a perfectionist is to own your story and love yourself through that process – a process where you exercise the gifts of courage, compassion, and connection every single day.
The persistent need you have to always do better and feel better leads to feeling discontented and frustrated, and the very effort to be “the best” can actually hurt your sense of self-esteem and confidence. It is unsettling and discouraging to never feel a sense of satisfaction. I get it.
You see … Blooming beyond perfectionism is not something we accomplish or acquire and then check off our list. It’s the journey of a lifetime, where conscious and courageous CHOICE is the key to flourishing.
Through my work, I hold the space for you to cultivate a Wholehearted life – something that is not like trying to reach a destination, but more like walking toward a star in the sky: You will never really arrive, but you will certainly know that you’re heading in the right direction. You will feel it from the inside-out.
Enough of never feeling enough. You are whole. You are worthy. And you are powerful beyond perfectionism.
WHOLEHEARTED LIVING IS NOT A ONETIME CHOICE. IT IS A JOURNEY.
My Wholehearted journey of blooming beyond perfectionism wasn’t the path of least resistance. It was a path of consciousness and choice.
The roots of my perfectionism go back to my childhood and teenage years. I coped with bullying in school and a mentally struggling mom with perfecting my external reality, such as my school performance, extracurricular activities and appearance — all of this to be seen and feel worthy of love.
As a perfectionist, I was afraid of failing. I thought in all-or-nothing terms. I thought, and then I acted, in extremes. I couldn’t trust others to do a task correctly, so I rarely delegated. I had demanding standards for myself and others. I had trouble completing a project because I thought there was always something more I could do to make it better. I used the word “should” a lot. My self-confidence depended on what I accomplished and how others reacted to me. I believed perfectionism was a part of my identity. I tended to fixate on what I messed up rather than focusing on what went right. I felt as if though I was running in a hamster wheel, never quite getting there.
Performance was intertwined with my sense of self. If I didn’t succeed, I didn’t just feel disappointment about how I did. I felt shame about who I was.
When I was working on something, I couldn’t relax unless it was perfect; I thought the people around me expected me to succeed at everything I did. I thought “The better I do, the better I am expected to do.”
At some point, my perfectionism turned into a coping mechanism. Perfectionism became equal to recognition, love and affection.
Ironically, the more I strived for love through performance, the more perfectionistic I became, and the lonelier I got. Eventually, I distanced myself from everyone and hit the wall.
As a result, the pursuit of perfection became a vicious cycle – and because it’s impossible to be perfect, a fruitless one.
It wasn’t until I got my flawless diploma in school – and still wasn’t fulfilled – that I awakened: My perfectionism didn’t make me happy. It made me sick.
And do you know what the worst struggle was? I constantly felt empty and unable to feel joy.
I decided to look my fear of failing dead on in the eyes and committed to find a way to free myself from all the destructive habits that held me back in my personal and professional life.
I challenged my comfort zone by travelling the world and building connections with people. I stopped thinking about the rules and norms which allowed me to follow my curiosity. And most importantly, I committed to a life-long journey of self-love and alignment.
Through this process, I wilted, I fell, I rooted, I raised. And now, I’m blooming beyond perfectionism.
I’ve reconnected myself to the power and worthiness I have within. I’ve learned to let go of the judgements and expectations I’ve held of myself and others. I’ve developed boundaries that have allowed me to flourish.
I’ve learned that, until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart.
With my work as a worthiness mentor now, I am committed to guide you through the same Wholehearted journey. A journey of practicing courage, compassion, and connection and looking at life and the people around you, and say, “I’m all in”.
As long as you know that you hold the key to your ultimate self and you are willing to put in the time and energy into developing a growth mind-set, we can do this together. I will be there with you every step of the way.
A human sunflower is someone who knows that she won’t be here for long but still chooses to live her brightest life.
To her, life is about growth – it is about wilting, falling, rooting, rising, and blooming. With this in mind, she sets out to create a life unique to her, one that she absolutely loves.
She basks in the sunshine and always grows towards the light. Only when she is fully nourished will she finally open.
The human sunflower doesn’t have to do anything but be herself, and when fully nourished she will naturally attract connection from other creatures.
She knows that from the place of nourishment and deep connection with herself,
she can feel a sense of safety and rightness about the way she is in the world.
From that place, she can approach connection with others, not from a sense of lack, but from a genuine sense of wholeness, real-ness and giving.
As the light comes and goes, she may not always know where she’s going or what she’s doing, but she lets her heart and intuition lead. Uncertainty and risk are just part of the growth process.
This process of living is a dance between the human sunflower’s intention and a divine guide. As her life unfolds, so does her blooming.
In the end, her life is beyond what she could have imagined in the beginning. Now, she is the sun. She is the light.
Martine is a wholehearted coach and worthiness mentor who helps perfectionists break free from destructive habits and thought-patterns. Through her work, she encourages them to step out of obligation + fear and into a life of desire + wholeness.
Martine is from Norway, but is for the most part travelling the world. She is currently based in Bali, Indonesia. She has completed the Foundational Course at the Institute of Life Coach Training and the Consulting Accelerator program at Consulting.com.
LET'S WILT, FALL, ROOT, RISE, AND BLOOM TOGETHER
The 31-Day Interactive Guide will teach you specific skills to help you identify and change unproductive and unhealthy thinking patterns on your own, take you through exercises to increase your tolerance of the stress and fear associated with making mistakes and being judged unfavorably, and serve as a practical guide to managing your personal and professional expectations in realistic and reaffirming way.
This 12-week heart-centred mentorship program will help you say good-bye to perfectionism and empower you to embody your worth. Courageously expect to feel internal resistance as you move out of your comfort zone, and through the space of discomfort and vulnerability. All I ask for you to build a wholehearted life beyond perfectionism, is to show up with bravery, curiosity and openness.
Dive deeper into personal growth + lifestyle design with my free and fun resources. Get worksheets, watch videos and read books I recommend. Get bold, beautiful and blooming inspiration by signing up for for Human Sunflower Insights newsletter. Finally, take the leap into the Bloom Beyond Perfectionism group where we build long-lasting connections and celebrate raw and real talks!