So much of our lives are lived in a fog of automatic, habitual behaviour. We spend so much time on the hunt, but nothing ever quite does it for us. And we get so wrapped up in the hunt that it kind of makes us miserable.
CONSUMERISM IS FULED BY INSECURITY — AND REMEDIED BY MINDFULNESS
You may have everything you’re supposed to have. Everyone around you says, “you’re successful.” But, really, you’re miserable. You feel like there’s a gaping void in your life. You fill that void the same way many people do, with stuff, lots of stuff. You are filling the void with consumer purchases. You are spending money faster than you are earning it, attempting to buy your way to happiness. You think you’ll get there one day. Eventually, happiness has to be somewhere just around the corner, right? You are living pay check to pay check, living for a pay check, living for stuff. But you are not living at all.
The first car creates an exponential, awesome rush of happiness and joy and utility. The second car comes about because we tire of the first car. The same with iPhones. And, as humans, we’re wired to become dissatisfied. You have this thing that you were obsessed about, the first car or the first iPhone. But then, the new version comes out, which is a new and improved in a dozed ways. And now you now longer care about the one you have, in fact, the one you have is a source of dissatisfaction.
"At a time when people in the West are experiencing the best standard of living in history, why is it that at the same time there is such a longing for more?"
— Rich Hanson, Neuropsychology PhD
I think we’re confused about what’s going to make us happy. Many think that material possessions are really the center of the bull’s eye, and they expect that gratifying each desire as it arises will somehow summate into a satisfying life. It’s an addiction really. And we are encouraged to maintain the addiction through technology and information.
We’re ruminating about past and future, and success, in a way that keeps us from really connecting with the present moment in a way that values it as good enough. Meditation is a technique of finding well-being in the present moment before anything happens. You can be happy and satisfied simply being aware of the sensation of breathing. Very rarely are we fully dedicated to one thing. We’re interrupting ourselves or allowing ourselves to be interrupted by these streams of data and what would, in any other context, be thought of as distractions, but now we think of them as just sort of all necessary parts of our bandwidth. Meditation is a great, great antidote to that.
MATERIALISM FOSTERS SOCIAL ISOLATION; SOCIAL ISOLATION FOSTERS MATERIALISM
A paper published in the Journal of Consumer Research, studied 2,500 people for six years. It found a two-way relationship between materialism and loneliness: materialism fosters social isolation; isolation fosters materialism. People who are cut off from others attach themselves to possessions. This attachment in turn crowds out social relationships.
"Once we let go of the things that don't matter, we discover all the things that really do."
— Joshua Becker
CAN MONEY BUY YOU HAPPINESS?
Money can buy happiness in some sense. In global research below 70.000 US dollars a year, adding greater material well-being is linked to greater psychological well-being. But when you start pushing past that rough threshold, money doesn’t buy happiness. You can have more money, but you’re no happier.
Once our basic needs are met, wealth makes very little difference to one’s overall well-being and happiness. And in fact, extremely wealthy people actually suffer from higher rates of depression.
Some data, however, has suggested that there could be a link between higher income and increased life satisfaction. It seems that it may not be the money itself that leads to dissatisfaction, but rather, the continual striving for greater wealth and more possessions that is linked to unhappiness.
CAN MONEY BUY YOU LOVE?
Materialism is actually correlated with unhappiness in marriages, according to a study published in the Journal Of Couple & Marriage Therapy. Researchers studied more than 1,700 couples to find that those in which both partners had high levels of materialism exhibited lower marital quality than couples with lower materialism scores. Other studies have found that students with higher extrinsic, materialistic values tend to have lower-quality relationships, and to feel less connected to others.
Materialistic people also typically have less pro-social and empathetic qualities, both towards others and towards the environment.
"Love people and use things, because the opposite never works."
— The Minimalists
GET ALL THE WAY OUT OF MATERIALISM AND ALL THE WAY IN MINIMALISM
I think it goes to the bottom line fact that you can never get enough of what you don’t really want. In other words, deep down, we don’t really want more toys, more cars, more clothes, more phones. We want what they will bring us. We want to feel whole. We want to feel content. Now, how do you get all the way out of materialism and all the way in minimalism?
You can adapt to anything, even a minimalistic lifestyle. We think some changes will be terrible – like losing a limb – but in fact we are great at adapting to circumstances that don’t change. So whenever you put things away in a storage, travel with just a little backpack or throw materials out of your life, you quickly learn to live without it.
Getting into the right frame of mind. Visualize the benefits of minimalism. In large part, minimalism is actually a practice in mindfulness. The act of ridding yourself of possessions is a turn away from the materialism, consumerism, and distractions of our world today. Consider the following benefits of minimalist living:
— Less focus on material items for personal fulfillment
— Reduced stress about how much money you earn
— Less clutter, and more free space
Limit your social commitments. A harried social life goes against the fundamental goals of minimalism – to declutter, destress, and refocus. Take the initiative and eliminate toxic relationships from your life, focusing instead on the people who contribute to a happy state of being for you. Do not feel obligated to keep up with relationships that do not benefit your well-being, such as:
— friendships with people who don’t have your best interests at heart
— on-again, off-again relationships that cause you sadness
Pare down your social media activity. Pick a few social media apps to keep and deactivate the rest. This minimalist move will reduce the number of alerts and notifications you receive during the day, which can grow to be excessive and stressful. If you do not feel comfortable getting rid of applications, turn off notifications and check in for updates at your leisure.
Join a minimalist community. There are numerous communities, online and in countries like the U.S., Canada, Australia, Ireland, and the U.K., centered around the minimalist way of life. Local meetup groups are held in these countries – they offer a unique opportunity to meet other people living the minimalist lifestyle, and to learn more from them. Check for meetings in your area, or look for an online community to reach out to other minimalists.
Ask yourself: does this add value to my life? Over time situations will change—they always do. Therefore you’re always forced to ask the same important question over and over and over again: Does this thing add value to my life And it’s not just material possessions at which you should posit this query: you should ask it in regard to relationships, social media, and any other potentially superfluous matters in life.
Discuss the changes with your loved ones. If you live with others, it is important to discuss your move towards minimalism with them, and to get their feedback. If they are interested in joining you in trying out a minimalist lifestyle, you should discuss some ways to adapt your shared living space and belongings, and to consume in a minimalist way. If they do not wish to live in a minimalist way, discuss the limits and parameters of your minimalist changes in order to compromise on shared spaces, belongings, and consumables. Maintain communication and discuss all possible changes to your living space beforehand to avoid conflicts.
